The process of matching the proposed (or imposed) in the role of psychology is called projective identification. As a psychotherapist working with clients sometimes unwittingly falls into the role imposed on him by the client. A psychologist might suddenly find himself as a savior or a tyrant, depending on what He expects the client and how strong is the projection onto the therapist. However, the Gestalt therapist is aware of a good, fast detect this and will come out of imposed roles. As in life as people are identified (merge) with the role projects on their partner for a long time, possibly for life. For instance, if you have an idea that your partner in marriage should be such and such and such, then you are looking for a partner who, for whatever his personal characteristics suitable for this role (or do you think is right), that is, projecting on him their expectations. For example – a man should be the main earner in the family.

And your partner will struggle to be "getter" keeping in mind that anyone anything he should not and that you too can earn nice. The output of this "ought", which creates tremendous pressure in the human psyche can become a disease, alcoholism, divorce, or death. Such a performance is played out in each pair. After some time it becomes clear well (play) staged or not, properly chosen role or not. If the result pleases both, it means that everything is fine. But if the result sad, then, if you have a flexible mind, the partners are rearranged and recast.

And what do you – you're just ignore it … is your diagnosis' humbled ', not' I'll still be happy. " Well, so why turn a blind eye to their problem, and I can even say the disease 'loneliness'. After all, if this were not a disease, it would be easy to cure, but there …… here as not strange impasse.

Therefore, it is better not close our eyes and try to just understand and live with the thought of a happy future. Some still do not do it too, I tell you, nothing good will not. Well, let's say you're crying in the pillow, drinking glass, the remaining piece of the concept of what is happening or how to live each day zombie. Even at first is your standard … Harvey Finkelstein MD has plenty of information regarding this issue. then you push away the last people that are close to you. And you get another present diagnosis of 'alcoholic'. And, finally you one. You without the slightest perception of what is happening, 'exist'.

And I say that this is not the worst, most terrible – it's the thought of death, and, of course, the actions leading to this. Y you, my dear, clinical depression or diagnosed with an alcoholic ', but this does not come so easy. And the worst thing that you do not want this to come out. Do you think its useless life, and, of course, death. And to help you no one … you are all pushed. And ….. Well, why is everything. Indeed there is, I think that's obvious. This thinking, acceptance of all and, of course, the desire to live. This is a very complicated way, but it does not hurt is the most correct. What to do necessary, as I said, everything should think, but not critical condition, but then again you will meet our friend 'depression', we just need to think about your mistakes and promise yourself not to repeat them, and, of course, take it in such a form in which it is, rather than trying to avoid. And the third is a bold look to the future. Just think that everything that's happening to you, not just in a way that some may experience, or the same problem in your way, so you become stronger. Do not worry, do not worry about the past, live the present and certainly future. After all, are bound to be ahead of joy and happy moments, of course, there will be disappointment, a kind of hopelessness, but you all suffer …….. just get up and go …….. just go on and on. You think how hard it is, but then you and people all suffer and strive for your happiness. Just think about love, about children, about a favorite work, and finally, about a family that loves you and accepts this (to them) as you are. And I can say, 'If you want to be happy – be happy. "

From childhood, boys are taught that only girls cry. But in life there are situations when even men find it hard not to cry. Often this happens when there is truly something awful. They can control myself and not miss a single drop of tears at the funeral of a loved one or the hijacking of his car. Of course, they can afford to shed a few tears, but only when there is no or anyone nearby. According to the psychology of relationships, men are afraid that Society can not correctly interpret a sign of weakness. After all, active women like confident men. These qualities tend to themselves and representatives of the fairer sex, thereby driving experience more deeply.

These men are at risk of harm to their health and endanger their loved ones state of mind of people. After all the negative emotions accumulate in the body, sooner or later, splash out and at this point they Unfortunately remember that men do not cry. And gradually, the representatives of the sterner sex can turn into robots by eating food or, for example, making love. Occasionally there are other situations when a man came home allows himself to put away a tear. In public, he keeps himself in their hands, but is home to his wife to say that something is wrong and a man begins to sob. And the questions are answered dryly: "Guess." This situation is one of the complex family relations.

Any woman who is dear to her husband, dropped everything and will investigate the cause of such behavior. She is looking for an excuse such misconduct, perhaps what – you blame yourself, while her husband makes a massage and water them with your favorite tea cake. In these actions is hidden bug: women compared to men, this time with the children and act as a mother. Men in most cases, the only thing that you need. If the tear is actually a good reason, then he is with her, of course, share. In this case, a woman need an understanding and empathy. If the transmission of the phenomenon of tears in your man's fairly common, it is likely to act like a spoiled child who demands attention. Not costs too pay attention to it and spend time. Otherwise, you can seriously undermine your mind strong half. In relationships within the family, must learn to ignore such acts of weakness. You will need a lot of patience, the husband may accuse you of indifference, to propose a divorce. But gradually this end, unless of course he did not have major depression. Although this method does not solve the problems of men, they need to learn how to express their differently. Some naplakavshis enough, begin to shout at his wife, arguing that, in fact, they are still men. Such actions are most likely the cause to think about serious issues man's personality. Better with this issue to see a specialist, (although men do not like to be aware of this), and the sooner it happens the better.